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It's Still the Same Old MeMarch 19 还能不能还能不能 你后悔了你道歉了 总算死了的心又开始骚动着 以为懂了真看透了 你唤了我的名字 我却就又回头了 曾以为从此你就是她的 现在你却说你还可以是我的 但我忘不了你曾是她的 我们的世界已不再是原来的 还能不能恢复我要的幸福 还能不能回到爱情的地图 If you come back to me 我能否不去记住 你曾给的那些痛苦 还能不能承受你手指碰触 还能不能感受你怀里温度 If you come back to me 曾被你背叛的我 怎么相信你不会再让我哭 还能不能恢复我要的幸福 还能不能回到爱情的地图 If you come back to me 我能否不去记住 你曾给的那些痛苦 还能不能承受你手指碰触 还能不能感受你怀里温度 If you come back to me 曾被你背叛的我 怎么相信你不会再让我哭 March 05 Peaceful NightI haven't been blogging in English for a while because I always feel that I can express my feelings better in Chinese. Or you can say I am very bad in English o_0
My life has been like a roller coaster since I came back from London. Be it work or relationships. So much had happened for the past few months. I've been through countless ups and downs. I almost wanted to give up everything in Malaysia (except my family of course) and go back to London or maybe OZ to continue my studies. However, I know well that I can't runaway forever. No matter how far I go and how hard I try to avoid, everywhere is the same and no one can guarantee I will be happy/feel better at the other end of the world.
3 months ago, I was drowning in sadness which I thought will never go away. I've shed so much tears and gone through so many sleepless nights. At the same time, I was over-stressed with my new job and also having problems to accept the changes in friendship. I doubted my decision to come back.
BUT ... afterall, I am thankful. I am thankful because I have a lovely family - sorry ba, ma, for always going home late =(. If I am not back, I wouldn't be able to know or get close to bunch of cute colleagues. I am thankful because I have great friends around me. I am thankful because he never thought of letting go (although I am still not sure if it's a good or bad thing). I am thankful I have been given a good job opportunity (although it's torturing me now -_-). I feel grateful for where I am now.
It has been a painful experience but life goes on no matter what.
P.S. 谢谢, 你和你陪我度过了最难熬的那一段日子。
February 25 生命交错的那一刻在回家的路程,右脚狂踩油门,感觉到车就快失控的那一刻,我竟然有点期待粉身碎骨的感觉。似乎只是想证明自己还知道痛的感觉吧?过了急速的一刹那, 奔涌而来的无助感彻底把我淹没。 我不是自己想的那么不在乎,那么潇洒。很多很多的事情在脑海里打转。 我可以说, 我后悔回来了吗? 我不能, 因为那是我的选择。不是不失望的,不是不难过的, 可是除了接受还是接受吧? 今天的我, 上了一课 - 对别人仁慈就是对自己残忍。我总是太天真和拒绝去接受现实了。 像PL和我说的,永远的不变就是变。 是我以为一切还如旧吧? 真的是时候面对现实了。 心,比想像中的还要痛。 不是不再关心了,只是不想再造成他人的困扰。 我唯一可以做的就是退回原来的位置。YH说过,我每次一受伤,就会把心门关上。我也有害怕的时候,我也有难过的时候。可是,我必须告诉自己, 我一个人也可以过得很好, 不能让家人担心。 在这一刻, 我是一个人的。 希望,这次是我最后一次写这样的部落格。 |
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